Hill To Join Top Side
Rumour has it that although Eddie Hill is attracting interest from Larne and Ballymena Utd, Crusaders are also in the challenge to sign him on a free transfer.
Although today a statement in The Sun newspaper has Real Madrid chairman confessing that Hill would be an asset to the spanish giants and will be prepared to offer Ballyclare a world record breaking ?million deal.
He was stated in saying : " Eddie no es muy grande pero creemos que ?es un jugador mejor con la bola en sus pies. Mire Zola, el es clase del mundo pero no tiene ninguna altura tampoco. El debe ser un gran activo para Madrid verdadera".
Which translates as: "Eddie is not very great but we think that he is a better player with the ball in his feet. He watches Zola, is class of the world but he does not have any height either. He must be great assets for true Madrid."
The previous world record fee was held by Real Madrid giant Luis Figo.
Kirk To Sign Massive Adidas Deal.
Rumour has it that Ballyclare Comrades captain Jamsie Kirk will be signing a 10 year deal with giants Adidas.
In the ten year deal, Kirk will receive an estimated ?million and is looking forward to advertising with Zidane, Beckham and Del Piero.
After the announcement David Beckham stated : " Everyone here at Adidas are looking forward to working with Jamsie and we have all been dying to meet him.
He is well known on the global scale and was one of my boyhood hereo's.
The ten year deal will take the Ballyclare man up into his late 60's. 
McClean And Burns Branded Alcoholics By Locals At The Hill
Rumour has it that Stuart McClean and Gary Burns of Ballyclare Comrades FC are "known alcoholics" at the Hill Bar, Carnmoney.
In a local newspaper, locals were reported in stating : " Its simply unbelievable, they must come in every Sunday morning and drink the day away. I dont even think that they have ever been near a church - Well maybe one with free drink but i dont think that you would find many of those".
These rumours have suggested that there footballing careers could be close to an end at the ages of 18 and 20 respectively.
Asked about these rumours Gary Burns stated : " Im not sure what to say about these alligations. Im not an alcoholic - no way cause I dont drink on a Friday because of football on a Saturday".
Stuart McClean was asked about these alligations. " No comment" was his reply as he slammed the pub door.
Later an interview with the taxi man that regularily drives the pair around told of how he spent all night looking for " the church with free drink " as described by the Ballyclare duo.
The taxi was reported in costing only a tenner because of seasonal good will but Burns was adament that the taxi driver should take the bid of ?made by himself.
Kirk Loses Adidas Deal
A statement made by giants Adidas today revealed that Jamsie Kirk is on the brink of losing his lucrative Adidas sponsorship deal.
A spokesman stated : " We made our way up to Ballyclare last Tuesday evening to watch Jamsie train and then on the Dixon Park pitch we were all set to make a new TV ad with David Beckham and Zinidine Zidane who were also present.
"Unfortunately, with deep regret, Jamsie was unable to stay on his feet for very long and that is just not the kind of image that we want young people to think of Adidas as".
"Therefore his sponsorship deal will be terminated as soon as possible, but we have already found a suitable replacement". LIZ THE STEWARD
The new advert shows David Beckham whipping in a free kick towards diving keeper Andy McDonald, but instead of diving for the ball, keeper Andy dives to the feet of stand in striker Liz - and automatically falls in love with her new boots.
Adidas would like to thank Liz and Andy on there help with the television ad which is to be put on TV later this month.
McClean Caught Up In VIAGRA Scandle.
Ballyclare Comrades midfield dynamo Stuart McClean has openly confessed to Ballyclare Comrades Online that due to his growing age he has problems getting it up.
After a disappointing 2-1 defeat by Carrick Rangers reserves, McClean out of disappointment, let slip to every red in the changing room.
He was stated in saying When you get to my age, you have problems even getting the thing up.
He has also hinted that the drug viagra has changed his way of living and wishes to express his gratitude to medical scientists.
We would like to wish Stuart all the best in his RISING future.
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